What if pigs could fly? What if aliens exist?
Wait, what?! What if Don was one of us? What kind of fuck-tard asks a question like that?...A no good, foolish, pig fucking, educated in Canada, sacrilegious fuck-tard, that is who.
We all know Don is greater than any combination of we mere men. Which brings me to today's sermon: Your Don cave and why you need it.
Though the necessity of a proper Don cave should be obvious, i will explain for the un-Don-ucated.
1.Don is the greatest person to ever live.
2.Only with proper lighting, feng shui, and years of meditation can the 12th level of meta Don-wareness be achieved.
3.Don speaks in mysterious ways to those who listen for him.
4.If you're going to worship a so called 'false idol' (so called by men who mysteriously disappeared this morning), you may as well do it in style.
5.Lastly, everyone must self-pleasure from time to time, Don-bate, if you will. There is no better environment for Don-bation than a Don cave. You have access to pictures of the Don-z, all the hand lotion/ lubricant a follower could need; as well as candles to set the mood. Perfect for auto-Don-roticism.
Materials needed:
1.a minimum of three (3) candles or two (2) big ass altar candles
2.your favorite Don picture/head shot
3.choice of scented lotion / lubricant (choose warming lube to get the sensation required for ultimate Don-tent)
4.comfortable seating in a quiet, preferably dark room (close out all artificial light) so the heretics can't pass judgment.
5.one FSU related item (you must also worship where the man came from)
6.a towel / tissues, for obvious reasons.
The Ideal Don-doration room
Daily World Wide Don links
http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/112015/happiest-us-cities-to-work?mod=career-worklife_balance ...numbers 3 and 4, the fastest risers on the list are in the state of Florida, where Don lives. Coincidence? Doubtful.
http://shine.yahoo.com/event/the-thread/can-you-guess-which-a-lister-was-spotted-without-make-up-2451696/ ...Don help us all.
http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/amplifier/88432/prince-speaks-for-kardashian-weary-nation-get-off-the-stage/ ...an act of Don, the true prince?
Man skis waves in honor of Don
"But never, until recently, had he or anyone else donned skis and used them to surf the gargantuan swells at a notoriously treacherous spot called Jaws, off the Hawaiian island of Maui."
http://www.grindtv.com/surf/blog/24197/chuck+patterson+stuns+surfing+world+by+skiing+massive+waves/ ...surf on fellow Don-ficianado
I leave you with this quote Shaw Nation, i will be back tommorrow / whenever i start Shaw-ing/Jones-ing for some more,
"Ask not what your Donald can do for you, but what you can do for your Donald"-JFK, inspired by Da Don
No comments:
Post a Comment