Don take the wheel

Don take the wheel, take it from my hands, cause I can't do this on my own.  I'm letting go, so give me one more chance, to save me from this road i'm on...Don, take the wheel. (Don's an excellent driver).


In one day, Don got me a job offer, told me a hilarious joke, and cured cancer.  Just a day in the life. 

It's not often that a man can tell a funny, non offensive, completely politically correct joke.  Donald Shaw is not a mere man.  I'm LOLing as i type this it was so funny.  Unfortunately, I can't re-tell the joke here.  This is not the greatest joke in the world, this is just a tribute...can't remember the greatest joke in the world, it was the greatest joke in the world, yeah.

Eat your heart out Christoper Rock

(pictured above: Wannabe)

After telling me the funniest joke ever, I was so exhausted from laughing, that i missed a call from the state of Florida for the 2nd greatest job in the world.  Tough to beat war lord/overseer of construction, after all.  Don used his vast network of connections to pull a few strings for one of his most devout followers.  Hopefully it still stands tommorrow.  The entire Middle East, and most of The US are pissed about jobs, the Don gives em away, like a creepy van guy gives out candy.  Just goes to show you, Don can give you the world, but it is up to you to take advantage.

Lastly and arguably the least important, given his day's work, was developing a cure for cancer.  Around 6PM, Don cured cancer.  While he was debating how to allocate his great gift to humanity, the US government swooped in and stole the secrets.  So, you want the cure for cancer?  Talk to your US government.  If Don was in charge, the cure would have started being Don-stributing tonight.  No need for national healthcare when you have a cure for cancer, I guess that's the governments motivation, don't know, ask them.  I'm sure they'll be extremely forthcoming (see: the JFK assassination, Area 51, Tupac's death, the moon landing', and now, the cure for cancer, etc.).

 In under a year Don could make these obsolete.

(pictured above: the government cultivating a culture of fear.  Live the Don, love the Don)

I leave you with those tales followers, with the Don, all things are possible.  Bel'ie dat.

"Bel'ie Dat"

Update: Don just beat previously unbeaten Robert Smith to become the undisputed number one ping pong player in the area, so, yeah, just keep tacking 'em on.

 Robert Smith's Idol

(Rob's a little off)