Don't you wish your Don-friend was hot like mine?

Don't cha?


Apologies to anyone lucky enough to be related to Don who may be reading this blog.  This blog post comes out of frustration.  Night after night, Don-rise after Don-rise, I watch Don pull in the hottest girls this Tallahassee neighborhood has to offer.  Women of all ages, colors and creeds, throwing themselves at the Don's feet, begging to ravaged.  When I bring a girl over its basically (read: purposely) so that Don may do as he wishes with her.  It is fucking ridiculous.

Last night was the craziest, although not in any way irregular.  Around 7 AM a gorgeous woman rang the door bell.  Don jumped up, ready to whip some ass, He had been awaken from His slumber, and someone had to pay.  Turns out that someone was Megan Fox, former star of the Transformers series.  "Megan Fox, so nice to see you...Bitch are you crazy?!", I heard from my room, followed by a series of muffled arguments.  

 It was then that I froze in fear as He called to me for His weapon of choice...the baby powder.  I begged Him not to, but it was too late.  I handed Him the baby powder, and he immediately put a dabbed of it into each hands, and rubbed them together. Then, He "hand"-ed it back to me. "The first is for insolence" he said, bitch- slapping me to the floor; and the second is for "whore-solence!", he screamed.  Powdering the left cheek of Megan Fox'.  "Bitches be crazy!", was His goodbye as he began to slam the door in her face.  "No Don, you can't do this I love you, I need you!!", she cried.  "What you need is to transform yourself into a good actress who is not try to hump my leg every morning at 7 AM...too many bitches...a ha ha ha, I'm Donald Shaw bitches!!" He replied, heading back to bed. 

 I still have nightmares.

It was a sad, familiar sight, an A-list star, the heir to Angelina Jolie's considerable throne, and myself, crying outside of the Don's door.  Each looking as though we had competed in a powdered doughnut eating competition where the only rule was that you could only use one side of your mouth.  We cried ourselves to sleep.  We knew it was our fault after all, we should not have made Don angry, he still loved us.  When he woke up, the pair had sex, leaving me to cry in the hall on my own.

Such is the life of Donald Shaw, women will do whatever they have to to get into His pants, men (read: this blogger) would murder to be you.  It's frustrating, don't get me wrong, I get it, I just wish there was one woman in all of Tallahassee who was interested in me, instead of flirting with me to get to Him.  I guess I chose this path.  I should feel lucky, I get to live with the Don, how many of you women out there would love to say that? 

 Don damn it, two more just showed up.

 
"My girl got a Don-friend, I just found out and it would be alright, if only I could be with her too.  My girl got a Don-friend, it really is not a problem, I'm sure Don will make it do what it do.  Because Don having two chicks is apparently better than me having any chicks :(" -T pain / Troy-pain


"there are two things in this world I ain't never seen...a spaceship, and a bitch in need"-Donald Shaw / Fredero Starr