Good Evening folks, The Don just headed to his room to please the gorgeous woman on his bed before he falls into the most peaceful of slumbers. Meanwhile, I sit here, thinking and dreaming about something The Don said earlier tonight. The Don expressed an interest in Cinematography. He is debating taking a step back from fixing the economy through construction to focus on his acting career. Tonight, we look at what some of the greatest films in history would have been like with The Don as the main character.
The Godfather-his name is THE DON, this movie could've been so epic.
Saving Private Ryan-Don could just fight off the Nazis himself and go home, and as good as a movie as that would be on its own, we'll save that for later.
Schindler's List-This time, no Jews die as Don fights off the Nazis himself, punching Hitler in the face before arresting him. Best Action movie ever.
Star Wars-Darth Vader and all of his homies would have been dead after the first movie, fuck that trilogy shit.
West Side Story-much better dancing.
Jaws-The Don hunts down and captures Jaws. Then, he challenges Jaws to a swimming match for the rights to the water. Spoiler Alert...Don wins.
The Sound of Music-Better singing. Do a Don, a super male Don, who is a drop of golden sun, me a name he calls himself, fa-the length that Don can run, So-he's too manly to sow, la-la la la la la la, ti-....
Forest Gump- Don plays a genius who has all these crazy things from history happen to him, Jenny has to be recast using a hotter woman.
Jerry Maguire-Cuba Gooding Jr. shows Don the money. Don also replace the cute 'human head weighs five pounds' kid.
Rocky-the lovable underdog...Don flips the script on its head. He beats the shit out of e'rebody, but everyone still loves and roots for him.
Those movies would all be soooo much better with The Don in them. Luckily for us, in the future, when won't have to wonder...catch Don in The Adjustment Bureau, formerly starring Matt Damon, in theaters whenever Don wants...
peace,
Tzo out
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