Why Don should be on the FSU basketball team

Following is the excerpt from an email I sent to the FSU athletic department regarding Don joining the FSU basketball team. FSU basketball needs help...it needs The Shaw-man.

 (Pictured: a native american (probably a Seminole) shaman, "leader" of the spiritual world who would murder for 1/4 of the powers the real Shaw-man possesses.)

5 reasons Don would make FSU basketball better.

1. In you face defense- Yesterday I fool-heartedly attempted to steal one of Don's cigarettes, you know, just to have a peice of the man-god.  The fucker is a brick wall, I couldn't go through or around him.  Everytime I tried to go through him he sets his feet just in time to 'take the charge'.

taking the charge in this case meant breaking my ribs.  

(pictured: an idea of what my ribs looks like, only mine are more broken, and less attractive)

2. Proven winner- Don has never once lost in an NCAA basketball game.  UNDEFEATED, Don is perfection, perfection is Don.

(Pictured: Don's date from last night, if you can call having extremely loud orgasms all fucking night long a date)

3. 3 point shot- I have literally never seen Donald Shaw miss a three, i'm not certain anyone has.  God knows FSU could use a little offensive spark.

I guarantee you FSU, you will hate yourself forever if you pass up on a chance to sign "the white MJ" as Don is commonly referred to as.

4."Hard work! Pays off!"-Josh Koscheck...They're  similar not only in fighting styles, but also, mantras.  The Don is an ardent believer in hard work.  He doesn't necessarily need to work hard, what with his Don given talents, but, he does.  Think Kobe Bryant staying late after games to shoot around is impressive?  Don shoots around even when there hasn't been a game.  He would push himself and the FSU basketball to new heights...which leads into our next reason...Don's NFL combine topping vertical jump.

The abs and goofy hair are other similarities.

5. Something like a 45'' vertical
he may come off a tiny bit on the short side, then again, he's perfect, so maybe the rest of us are just giant freaks...regardless of his wrongfully attributed "vertical challenge", Don's got mad ups...has aNYONE EVER SEEN The Don jump?  He looks like a fucking bird, just shoots right up there, it's crazy.

You would need 4 of these to measure Don's vertical, and 2 of them if you were looking to measure his penis.

FSU baketball, if you want to follow LSU's lead and win a big game against Texas A&M, please, heed my advice.  You need Donald Shaw...It's nothing to be embarrassed about, everyone needs a little Donald Shaw sometimes (read: all the time).

Eat your heart out you stupid fucking Aggies.

P.S. If FSU does not add The Don, I will use that as an excuse to pick against them in every bracket i fill out, this is a promise.