"There are no great men, only great challenges that ordinary men are forced by circumstances to meet."-William F. Halsey

warning: this post is probably not funny.

William F. Halsey, you sir are a fucking idiot.  Don is a great man.  He is a great man who shits on great challenges.  For Fun.  A man who walked through the gates of hell just to pants Hitler.  A man who punched Chuck Norris in the face for having a number of misappropriated 'facts' told about him.

Not so tough without pants, ey Nazi? (On a side note, I'm 87% sure the numerous Hitler/Nazi searches I have done for this blog have landed me on some sort of government watch list.)

Chief Among these:
"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live"-obviously this privilege belongs to The Don, and The Don alone.


"Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?""- again, Don is our sole creator, only he can alter a being's DNA.  I can't wait till these blasphemers and their pajama pant wearing, mustache having false idol finally meet their maker (The Don).

A show about Don and his penis...probably. (Luckily, no one watches the show, so there's no one to debate me.)

5 Reasons that Don is better than Chuck Norris, using Chuck Norris' own stupid facts, and a few of my own.
1."Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."-have a fucking heart Chuck.  Even The Don knows there are times to cry. a.When your team wins the Super Bowl/World Series.
                           b. When babies are born
                           c. When necessary to get into a female's pants, which Don does alot, crying or not, so I guess he just cries for fun sometimes, I don't know.

For the record, Don never looks like this when he cries.  Don only has one type of tear, and that's the single tear slow rolling down his cheek.

 

2. "Chuck Norris really likes the movie 101 Dalmatians. No one knows why."-The unfunniest of all the unfunny Chuck Norris jokes, impressive.  I thank whoever wrote this stupid quote.  I will now use it to point out that Chuck Norris has a vagina, and Don does not. (see big bang theory picture above)

Don imitating life, or life imitating Don?

3. Chuck Norris wears pajama pants-Chuck Norris fights in Pajama pants, similar to a 12 year old girl at a sleepover...what the fuck is cool about that?  Don fight in gear similar to a cross between Mel Gibson in "The Road Warrior", and a ninja suit.

If I would have found this ridiculous outfit sooner, I would be mocking it, not the ridiculous pajama pants.

4. Chuck Norris has a mustache-Don is a clean shaven, professional God.  Grow the fuck up Chuck!

For the love of Don, put your fucking shirt on Chuck.

(editor's note: I have petitioned for shirtless Don pictures, all requests have been denied, sorry ladies)

 

5.There are no blogs full of stupid facts turned into weird, unfunny fads going around concerning the Don...or are there?
Best Blog Ever Written.................................about Don Shaw