As we speak The Don is performing one of his miracles. He is turning regular paper into food for us. Fantastically delicious drunken chicken to be specific. He left the house with nothing but paper bills in his pocket, and came back with food. He may have hunted for the chicken, I can’t say for certain, but, I’m fairly sure he just miracled the paper into chicken. He did all of this while not looking like a douche bag.
The king of the douches. Fiere 0, Don 1.
Oh, and another miracle, he just created fire on the grill, Don, Don is my hero. Eat your heart out Anthony Bourdain. I say we all boycott food network until The Don gets his own show. It is only right. He is not only a better cook than anyone currently on the network, and, he is surely better looking.
Rachel Ray would S*** a D**** to S*** Don’s D***.
Martha Stewart would do unspeakable things to get a piece of that Don pie...she's been to jail and she ain't going back!
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