"Praise him! Oh how I've yearned!' - Leo
My Don-ianity has been tested friends, and I am back, to preach his word. I have fought through the seven hells, across the seven seas, and I bring back to life (not dissimilar to the way my faith has been resurrected), "LIVE THE DON, LOVE THE DON"!!!! Can! I! get!...a.motherfuckin' praise Don?!
(You might caption Samuel L., but you damn sure don't caption The Don...fuck it, what's Samuel L. gonna do, he's not Don...Samuel L.: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men...")
I know what you're all thinking..."oh, Troy lost a bet and did this whole blog in an attempt to own up and pay homage to the Don...also, what a sexy motherfucker Troy is!!" That said (by you), you're wrong (I mean, I am sexy as a motherfucker, but this isn't about me) this was never about some stupid fucking bet. This was all about Living the fuck out of the Don, and loving the fuck out of the Don!...Also, fuck you, you don't know my life, don't mock me with your faux Troy quotes!
(Pictured: sexy motherfucker)
All that said, Praise Don!
To give the millions (and millions (see 'The Rock', circa 1998)) of Don follower's an update on Don's life, here's where we currently stand. Don is still crushing much vag (short for vagina, for the layman), per his usual, no surprises there. Still, somehow, through the sea of FSU women (FSU's war chant is actually inspired by Don, it's a tribute to his prowess in the bedroom, the whole 'ohhh oh oh oh oh' is the sound the ladies make (in bed))
(Why are there so many guys doing it? ... Tallahassee is a weird place)
(Lol, brown belts!) Nice try young Channing Tatum!
Don has increased his already immeasurable power over Florida politics!!! A win for Don-ocracies (fuck you auto correct, it's a fucking word) world/universe wide! Don now has power over THE fucking harbor pilots, y'all! (don't fucking ask me what that means, I have no idea, but Don talks about it like its a big deal, so now, it is literally the most important thing in my life.) So I guess if you want to fly on one of those planes that have skis on the bottom, you WILL fucking go through Don first (see previous sentence about having no idea what a harbor pilot is/does)!!
Welcome to Don's world, bitch.
For those who wish their souls to burn in hell (those who didn't read all of The Word above), the shortened version is that The Don-Father is alive and well, and one day, with just enough faith maybe he'll allow us all to be harbor pilots (when he talks about harbor pilots in context he makes me think it must be a good thing, so we should all shoot for that? I guess?).
Fuck you, science!
I leave you all with our obligatory closing Don Song-Prayer, this week lead by Matchbox 20:
All day starin' at the Don, makin' friends with shadows on my Don
All night I'm hearing Don tellin' me that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for Don-ing
Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a Don-break,
And I don't know why...
All night I'm hearing Don tellin' me that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for Don-ing
Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a Don-break,
And I don't know why...
Cuz I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unDon
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of Don
And how Don used to be, me
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of Don
And how Don used to be, me
I'm talkin' to Don in public, dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talkin' about Don
I can hear Don whisper, and it makes me think
There must be somethin' wrong, with me
Out of all the hours thinkin', somehow, I've lost my Don
And I know, I know they've all been talkin' about Don
I can hear Don whisper, and it makes me think
There must be somethin' wrong, with me
Out of all the hours thinkin', somehow, I've lost my Don
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unDon
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be (Don)......
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be (Don)......
I've been talkin' (to Don) in my sleep
Pretty soon Don'll come to get me
Yeah, Don's takin' me away
Pretty soon Don'll come to get me
Yeah, Don's takin' me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unDon
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be (Don) yeah, how I used to be (Don)
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be (Don) yeah, how I used to be (Don)
How I used to be (Don)
Well, I'm just a little unDon
How I used to be (Don), how I used to be (Don)
I'm just a little unDon
Well, I'm just a little unDon
How I used to be (Don), how I used to be (Don)
I'm just a little unDon
Read more: Matchbox 20 - Unwell Lyrics | MetroLyrics
